The Grass Not Greener

“I thought we said through thick and thin,” said Chris as he stood at the door. “Not this thing,” said Ashley walking away with all her stuff packed. Never in a million years he would have thought it would come to this. Did she show her true colors that day? Chris can sense the change in her, this wasn’t the girl he fell in love with. It all started a week ago one night when Chris came home from work. He notices Ashley was being distant, and he’s been feeling the tension in the house lately. He cuts on the TV to break the awkward silence as they sat on the couch.

Attempting to interact with her laughing to get her into the TV show but fails at every attempt. He cuts off the TV admiring her beauty wondering what could be wrong, why she is acting like this. “Why are you staring at me? You know I hate when you do that,” Ashley says with aggravation in her voice. “Baby what’s wrong? I’ve been noticing you’re not acting like your usual self. I am your husband anything, that’s going on you can tell me I am here for you,” said Chris as he moves closer to her on the couch. “Do you want me to be completely honest with you?” She says. “Yes talk to me, that’s why I’m here,” says Chris not knowing what to expect.

” I don’t know if I want to do this anymore. I’m just not feeling it,” she says with a look of discontent. “What? I don’t understand, I know we have our problems Ashley, and I know I can try harder to find a better job, I promise things will get a better baby” says Chris. “No, you should have been got your shit together. This relationship is too stressful and the lies you told me in the beginning even though I forgave you I still can’t get over it and to be honest a guy I used to talk to hit me up I told him we have problems but I told him that I was conflicted about us. I’m just tired of struggling and stressing, plus we are never intimate with each other Chris. I don’t even want you kissing or touching me I’m done.” Chris in shock tried pleading and begging, trying to understand why.

“Look you have a lot to work on as a man, and at this point, I feel like I can no longer help you,” she says as she gets up walking in the restroom. Following her, Chris asks “Can we at least try counseling before we throw our marriage away?” Sarcastically she responds “I really don’t want to be 22 years old going to marriage counseling”, as she wrapped her hair up to lay down. “But you rather be 22 and divorced,” he said walking into their room when all of a sudden Ashley gets a message on Snapchat saying “Are you alone?” She replies, “No he’s here”, then walks in the room and sits on the edge of the bed. Chris was staring at the ceiling wondering how the hell did it get this far. “OK, I’ll go to marriage counseling on one condition. You have to set up the appointment in a weeks time and you have to pay.”

“You got it,” says Chris I just hope we can work this out. “I’ve given you chance after chance Chris I think I have made my mind made up but we’ll see,” She said moving towards the opposite end of the bed sleeping under a different cover. This was the first time in their marriage they slept with different covers, she also went to sleep with her phone under her pillow, which was strange to Chris because she has never done that before. The next day when they got up Chris had to work, on the ride, their Ashley yells, “The fact that you put the butter inside of the cabinet is what I can’t deal with.” “I was high babe sorry,” says Chris. “You’re always sorry, just like this guy in front of us his girl shouldn’t be dropping him off she uttered.” “Ugh! Just get out.” “Damn you don’t see her pushing her dude out of the car, do you? “She pointed the finger then, sped off. Chris walked into work outraged.

Ashley arrives back at the apartment as her friend Bianca decides to facetime her. “Hey girl what are you doing?” “Hey, Ash looking at this application trying to find a replacement for Maria.” “Yea that bitch been slipping,” said Ashley as they both laugh. “Girl do I have some tea for you,” Ashley says. “Guess who hit me up the other night.” “Bitch who?” “Daniel fine ass” “Girl stop lien,” says Bianca “I swear,” Ashley says. “You know that use to be your bee,” Bianca said. “Girl I know technically we never really stop fucking with each other.” “What do you mean aren’t you married?” Bianca said confusedly. “Yes, bitch but we just fell off when I went to college” “Oh OK now I see I’ll pick Daniel over Chris any day you know I how I feel about him sis” Bianca responded.

“Yes girl I do and I finally realized what you meant about Chris, he can’t give me the things I need. Plus Daniel and I Been talking for a few days now and I think I’m starting to fall for him again and I’m just done with Chris he’s just not who I thought he was, our vibe with each other is off, he’s childish, doesn’t have a car, and he not really trying to find a better job I feel like I’m doing it all by my self its too stressful ” Ashley says with tears running down her face damn girl he’s not the one you deserve better than this.” I feel bad for feeling like this because who wants to give up on their husband? But I can’t do it anymore.” says Ashley “Don’t feel bad if you’re not happy, marriage is just a word if the person not fulfilling your needs then they got to go” Bianca says “I know and now he wants to go to counseling I said I’ll go but I really don’t want to, I wish I can just take my name off the lease and just go. I’m tired of being a housewife to someone who can’t do anything for me” Ashley says. “Well girl you have a decision to make,” replied Bianca.

As they got off the phone Ashley starts to think was she really in love? Is this as good as it gets? She just thinks she could be happier with someone else. Her curiosity starts to get the best of her and she may start feeding into some of the flirts with the co-workers, classmates, whoever. She really likes the attention she gets and she learns the more she gives to these guys, the more they flirt with her. How far is too far? At this point, she is just caught in the moment. She wants out but does not have a valid reason to get out. Now, every tiny thing that goes wrong has her asking herself, “Is this enough of a reason to be able to walk away guilt-free?” At the same time, Chris is at work stressed about the marriage he knows she was the one for him. He is not going to give up he was going to fight.

Later that week they went to see the marriage counselor Chris found at a local church. When they walked in, they found two chairs set up a few feet apart facing one another. “We’re going to learn how to Dialogue and hopefully you’ll use these methods at home,” the counselor said as they took their seats. “Chris, I’d like you to speak first,” she said. “I get the feeling that Britt does most of the talking in this relationship, and it would be good for you to talk.” Ashley resisted the urge to explain to her that someone has to do the talking; instead, she settled back into her chair and prepared to listen.

“I guess… um… I feel like…” Chris began to tell the things felt was wrong in their relationship. As Ashley bit her tongue thinking to herself that “what he felt like was bullshit.” After five minutes of explaining himself, Ashley interrupted saying “Jesus, Lady. How much more of this are we going to listen to?” “Let him finish” the counselor responded, “NO I have to be honest I came here to let Chris know that I am leaving him.” Chris is now a huge wreck. He has no idea what just happened. He thought things were going to work out and they were ready to take the next step, and now she is leaving? Now she is out exploring and thinking she is having the time of her life. She has surrounded herself with guys that make her feel good about herself. She is single now, so hey she can give a little more and not feel guilty about it. Now she is giving more and more to each of these guys.

At this time, Chris is still calling and texting and falling apart and actually going through the breakup. The highs and the lows and the really low. But he doesn’t care; he is determined to get his baby back no matter what it takes. No matter how hard he tries, she just keeps pushing him away. He still does not want to give up, so he is going online trying to find ways to get his girl back. He finally decides he is going to try the no contact rule. He sees that a lot of people talk about it and some say it works great. He feels this is his best option so does it for like 2-3 days until he sees something on Facebook or recalls a fond memory and breaks. He calls her, only to be ignored, which really frustrates him. Here he is, trying to give her some space, but at this moment he just needs to hear her voice. So, he starts calling a lot and texting her again. One day, she finally breaks and answers. She is nice but also makes it clear that she does not feel she has made a mistake. She is happy it’s over and hopes the best for him.

He realizes that less contact is not working and the only thing to do is cut all contact So he stops, and this time for good. Meanwhile, She is still doing her own thing. Going on dates, seeing guys that really just want to have sex. Guys that don’t want to settle down, but they feed her whatever it takes. Then, once the guy gets what he wants, all the sudden he is gone. And then the next, and the next, and however many it takes before she starts feeling used. She starts to realize that’s the life she wants. She misses having someone who actually cared about her. And not just sex. She now starts to miss how much she used to be valued. She decides she is going to get back with her ex. But its too late he as moved on and is now with someone new. Now she’s trapped in the life of the fly niggas with diamond rings divorced last year now she’s up 20 guys quickly spreading around the city like she has a point to prove. Stressed out smoking Kush, graduated to coke. Prostituting her body on 304 Park Avenue. You may think the grass is greener on the other side unless you take time to water your own.

4 thoughts on “The Grass Not Greener

  1. Wow this story really hits home for me. Just him wanting to work it out and her not giving him a chance. I understand dude more than I should but hell everybody is worth a chance.

    Liked by 1 person

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