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Imagine that.

In my world, when we die we get two choices, either we move onto the afterlife or we get a second go at things. A second go means that you get assigned to your child self in the form of an imaginary friend. They can see you and interact with you, but no one else can. I got assigned to little Rhi around 3 years ago now. She’s awesome. I’m awesome, I guess? It’s odd. I don’t think of her as a past version of myself, I think of her as her own self.

“Hey. Get up monkey,”. I gently rock her shoulders in an attempt to wake her.

“Hmm. GO away”. Rude. She’s always like this first thing in the morning. I try to wake her up before her alarm because she always snoozes the fucking thing.

“Get up or you won’t get your presents”. It’s her 9th birthday today.

“‘It is?” She mumbles.

“Yes. Now get up”

She rubs the sleep from her eyes as she adjusts her position, sitting up in her overly large bed. She was so small for her age, naturally getting picked on in school for it. Kids are cruel. I’m not looking forward to when she gets older.

She raises her arms out and clinches her hands. She wants a hug. I go to her and wrap my arms around her.

“Go on Monkey, open it”

She leans forward and grabs the box, carefully slipping the paper and unraveling the gift. She pulls out a small cardboard box and lifts the lid.

“Wha-what is it Rhi?”

“It’s a dreamcatcher from my world. It’s very powerful. It will catch bad dreams and ensnare them, letting you have good ones instead”. I lift the dreamcatcher up, the one that I was buried with and let the moonlight glisten it. It was 3 am.

“But … I don’t get bad dreams?” She said.

“Not yet, monkey. But you are about to experience the worst parts of your life.”

BANG. BANG. BANG a knock at the door. I grip her tighter. It’s her 9th birthday, and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t interact with the adults. I can’t interact with anyone who’s not a child. All I can do is watch as the beasts bust into her bedroom, angry. The smell of alcohol fills the room, coming off the man.

“Dad? What’s wrong?” She asks as her voice hitch slightly in fear.

I shut my eyes. I can’t watch this. It was bad enough the first time. She deserves better. I can’t stop it. Why can’t I fucking stop it?

She lets out a blood-curdling scream as my spirit fades away.

The Skylar Story

If you were to have asked me if I am searching for the right one, my answer would probably be a big NO. Instead of saying that I’m looking for the “right one” I will just say that “I am waiting until the night time decides to let him step into the light of my world” I know, it sounds crazy or like I am a hopeless romantic. Well, Maybe, I am… a bit. Just a part of me because I still believe that people will still hurt you someone out there is probably “making some changes” in his life, just for me to accept him wholeheartedly. It might deceive me, or he might regret those changes that he made because it’s not who he truly is. Just stay who you are or make the changes for you. It’s just a matter of perfect timing for me and I’m not willing to settle for less I’ve also been “making some changes” in my life and my insecurities about love, and quite unsure if any man might want me at this stage of life. But everything changed once I met Adrian. I remember the day we met like it was yesterday I was so intimidated by his confidence and boldness. Then, I noticed how genuinely kind you were. I was afraid you were too good to be true. I saw all those women that wanted him, and I felt so blessed that he chose me; everything moved so fast who knew within 3 weeks we would be here today. It was like love at first sight but I always believe that the people we love we have loved in our past different name same game. They always give the impression that love is what they want and I really thought you we different. I remember bragging to my best friend Michelle and her telling me she “was so happy for me” I found it strange how Y’all lived in the same building but never saw each other beforehand but I never thought too much of it but I should have known it was too good to be true but, now I’m standing here as my hands shake uncontrollably bracing for what I was about to do.

“Skylar baby please put the gun down. Let’s talk about this. It’s not what it looks like,” Adrian said reaching for his pants. I looked at his naked body and became mad again. All I could think was he really put his penis in my friend. Before I knew it the gun went off. Without even realizing my aim had switched from his head to his genitals. His face froze instantly but he was still breathing. Michelle was now screaming in terror pleading for me to stop. I moved my aim to his head and pulled the trigger once again. When his stomach stopped moving I pulled two more bullets out my purse and threw it in the corner. My white tank top was now covered in sweat, makeup and blood splatter. Unfortunately, Michelle was in the wrong place at the wrong time and was going to have to suffer as well. I reloaded my gun and aimed at her. She too did me dirty by sleeping with my man after I gave her a job. Women like her made me sick so one bullet was reserved for her. After watching her cry and plead for five minutes I pulled the trigger. Blue and red lights were now glowing through the window and the sound of sirens pierced my ears. I wiped my face and took one final gulp. Thoughts of losing myself in a man and this fallacy called love brought the gun closer to my head. I looked at the mess in front of me as I pulled the trigger.

For a few dollars more.

Nightlife could be the right life
If you’re willing to sacrifice.
B always has a plan
This one involves a skinny dude
Overseen by a large man.
Actually, make that two
I see the other from the corner of my eye Barely in my view.

Getting him to the room is the goal but how is the challenge. “If you slip these two pills in his drink, we will have the advantage,” B said.

Don’t move too fast, don’t move funny. You have to be quick and calm to get his money. Left foot, right foot, one foot in front of the other. I put my request in with the bartender to distract this brother

“Double vodka on the rocks” Be sneaky, like a fox.

I tapped my glass to get his attention
His flirtatious smile parted and begin to mention. He just had to know
Why a beautiful woman like me
Is it a club, solo.

I smiled but my response was interrupted by an altercation.
Two men arguing was the situation
It was also my time to do the crime.

Two pills in his drink, they dissolved quick. After the altercation, we continued our conversation as he started to get dizzy and slur in his speech.

He asked, “What’s your name?”
– Mercy, someone you never wanted to meet.

Teacher Secret Part 1

Leaving my apartment I set out into the city “I am finally here” I thought to myself I was so excited about what was to come new city new job and new opportunities. I was finally living my dream as a high school teacher in New York. As I walk down the streets of Manhattan trying to find something to kill my hunger I noticed a restaurant called the sub-train. Walking in I was quickly seated by the host and ordered a roast beef sandwich. After a while my food finally arrived I started to devour my sandwich I barely looked up. But then I heard a giggle, and then I turned my head for a brief moment and noticed a beautiful woman. She had a cheerful but childish laugh. “You have something on your lip mind if I help?” she asked as she wiped the food off, she could barely sit still due to her childlike giggles. “There you go all better I’m Jasmine by the way and you are?” she asked, “David, my name is David” I responded. “Nice to meet you David you’re not from around here, are you? She asked as she sits next to me. “No, how’d you know?” I asked. “Because people usually don’t order the roast beef sandwich it’s not exactly been the owners are said to use dog meat,” she whispered. I suddenly felt the need to barf. “Oh relax I’m just joking,” she says hysterically laughing. “Very funny,” I said sarcastically. “But I asked because I’ve never seen you around before,” she said. “I just moved here got a new job, what about you what do you do for a living?” I asked. “I’m actually in college I’m out for the summer,” she says as her phone rings she hesitates before deciding to answer it “hello, hey yeah I’m on the way now okay. I’m sorry I have to go but it was nice meeting you again David,” she said as she gets up and walks out of the restaurant. I stayed there for a few minutes before deciding to leave myself, as I walked out I noticed she was standing at a bus stop nearby with a look of frustration I get in my car and pull next to her. “Is everything all right?” I asked. “I don’t have enough bus fare to get home but hopefully the bus driver is nice enough to let me on.” She said. “Well I could give you a ride,” I said. “I don’t know I usually don’t get into a car with strangers” Jasmine responded with a sarcastic smile on her face. “I promise I won’t bite” I responded. Jasmine looked around at her surroundings and decided to take my offer. “All right let’s go,” she said getting in the car. The car ride was very quiet minus the radio playing in the background as we pulled up at a stoplight a notification starts to ring off on my phone. “Oh, I forgot Max,” I said. “Who is Max?” She asked curiously. “The German Shepherd I have to feed him one time if I don’t he’ll tear my apartment up do you mind if I stop and feed him my apartment is just right here”. “No I don’t mind” she responded. Arriving at my apartment, I put the car into the park without turning the car off “I’ll be right back” I said getting out of the car. As I get into my apartment I noticed Max had already started to wreak havoc on the place I could tell he was hungry by the way his tail was wagging. Then I hear the front door open, and unfortunately so do Max. “Oh my God” screamed Jasmine as Max runs and jumps on her. “Max! Get down” I yelled. “I just needed to use the restroom,” Jasmine explained. Oh no you’re fine it’s down the hall to the left she smiled and preceded to the restroom. I wait a couple of minutes and then she finally comes out, with a towel wrapped around her. I was confusingly shocked at what I was witnessing she then walks over to me grab my hand, and brought it under the towel. My hand felt the warmth of her vagina. It was deep, warm, and very wet. She then takes off the towel unzips my pants, took out my penis, and put it in her mouth. I tried to move, but it felt as if invisible threads tied down my body. She took off my jacket, my tie, my pants, my shirt, my underwear, and made me lie down on the couch. Then she mounted me and used her hand to slip me inside her. Once she had me deep inside, she began a slow rotation of her hips. My erection grew larger and harder. I felt I was about to burst wide open. It was something that went beyond simple sexual pleasure. Once we were done we cleaned up and I dropped her off at home. “Well it was nice getting to know you David,” she said smiley as she gets out the car and goes inside her house. I didn’t see her for the rest of the summer. A few weeks later school started and I was excited to begin shaping the minds of the youth. Unfortunately, on my first day, I was late and a sub had to had to fill in. Once I arrived I relieved the sub, thankfully I wasn’t that late. “Alright class my name is Mr. David, welcome to geometry I hope to have a great school year,” I said writing my name on the Whiteboard. The class was very rowdy I can tell that I wasn’t the only one excited about the first day of school I started to calm them down to get started on the agenda as I noticed a childlike laugh that I’ve heard before as I gaze to my left. Jasmine and I locked eyes as her mouth drops open; I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. To be continued…

The Grass Not Greener

“I thought we said through thick and thin,” said Chris as he stood at the door. “Not this thing,” said Ashley walking away with all her stuff packed. Never in a million years he would have thought it would come to this. Did she show her true colors that day? Chris can sense the change in her, this wasn’t the girl he fell in love with. It all started a week ago one night when Chris came home from work. He notices Ashley was being distant, and he’s been feeling the tension in the house lately. He cuts on the TV to break the awkward silence as they sat on the couch.

Attempting to interact with her laughing to get her into the TV show but fails at every attempt. He cuts off the TV admiring her beauty wondering what could be wrong, why she is acting like this. “Why are you staring at me? You know I hate when you do that,” Ashley says with aggravation in her voice. “Baby what’s wrong? I’ve been noticing you’re not acting like your usual self. I am your husband anything, that’s going on you can tell me I am here for you,” said Chris as he moves closer to her on the couch. “Do you want me to be completely honest with you?” She says. “Yes talk to me, that’s why I’m here,” says Chris not knowing what to expect.

” I don’t know if I want to do this anymore. I’m just not feeling it,” she says with a look of discontent. “What? I don’t understand, I know we have our problems Ashley, and I know I can try harder to find a better job, I promise things will get a better baby” says Chris. “No, you should have been got your shit together. This relationship is too stressful and the lies you told me in the beginning even though I forgave you I still can’t get over it and to be honest a guy I used to talk to hit me up I told him we have problems but I told him that I was conflicted about us. I’m just tired of struggling and stressing, plus we are never intimate with each other Chris. I don’t even want you kissing or touching me I’m done.” Chris in shock tried pleading and begging, trying to understand why.

“Look you have a lot to work on as a man, and at this point, I feel like I can no longer help you,” she says as she gets up walking in the restroom. Following her, Chris asks “Can we at least try counseling before we throw our marriage away?” Sarcastically she responds “I really don’t want to be 22 years old going to marriage counseling”, as she wrapped her hair up to lay down. “But you rather be 22 and divorced,” he said walking into their room when all of a sudden Ashley gets a message on Snapchat saying “Are you alone?” She replies, “No he’s here”, then walks in the room and sits on the edge of the bed. Chris was staring at the ceiling wondering how the hell did it get this far. “OK, I’ll go to marriage counseling on one condition. You have to set up the appointment in a weeks time and you have to pay.”

“You got it,” says Chris I just hope we can work this out. “I’ve given you chance after chance Chris I think I have made my mind made up but we’ll see,” She said moving towards the opposite end of the bed sleeping under a different cover. This was the first time in their marriage they slept with different covers, she also went to sleep with her phone under her pillow, which was strange to Chris because she has never done that before. The next day when they got up Chris had to work, on the ride, their Ashley yells, “The fact that you put the butter inside of the cabinet is what I can’t deal with.” “I was high babe sorry,” says Chris. “You’re always sorry, just like this guy in front of us his girl shouldn’t be dropping him off she uttered.” “Ugh! Just get out.” “Damn you don’t see her pushing her dude out of the car, do you? “She pointed the finger then, sped off. Chris walked into work outraged.

Ashley arrives back at the apartment as her friend Bianca decides to facetime her. “Hey girl what are you doing?” “Hey, Ash looking at this application trying to find a replacement for Maria.” “Yea that bitch been slipping,” said Ashley as they both laugh. “Girl do I have some tea for you,” Ashley says. “Guess who hit me up the other night.” “Bitch who?” “Daniel fine ass” “Girl stop lien,” says Bianca “I swear,” Ashley says. “You know that use to be your bee,” Bianca said. “Girl I know technically we never really stop fucking with each other.” “What do you mean aren’t you married?” Bianca said confusedly. “Yes, bitch but we just fell off when I went to college” “Oh OK now I see I’ll pick Daniel over Chris any day you know I how I feel about him sis” Bianca responded.

“Yes girl I do and I finally realized what you meant about Chris, he can’t give me the things I need. Plus Daniel and I Been talking for a few days now and I think I’m starting to fall for him again and I’m just done with Chris he’s just not who I thought he was, our vibe with each other is off, he’s childish, doesn’t have a car, and he not really trying to find a better job I feel like I’m doing it all by my self its too stressful ” Ashley says with tears running down her face damn girl he’s not the one you deserve better than this.” I feel bad for feeling like this because who wants to give up on their husband? But I can’t do it anymore.” says Ashley “Don’t feel bad if you’re not happy, marriage is just a word if the person not fulfilling your needs then they got to go” Bianca says “I know and now he wants to go to counseling I said I’ll go but I really don’t want to, I wish I can just take my name off the lease and just go. I’m tired of being a housewife to someone who can’t do anything for me” Ashley says. “Well girl you have a decision to make,” replied Bianca.

As they got off the phone Ashley starts to think was she really in love? Is this as good as it gets? She just thinks she could be happier with someone else. Her curiosity starts to get the best of her and she may start feeding into some of the flirts with the co-workers, classmates, whoever. She really likes the attention she gets and she learns the more she gives to these guys, the more they flirt with her. How far is too far? At this point, she is just caught in the moment. She wants out but does not have a valid reason to get out. Now, every tiny thing that goes wrong has her asking herself, “Is this enough of a reason to be able to walk away guilt-free?” At the same time, Chris is at work stressed about the marriage he knows she was the one for him. He is not going to give up he was going to fight.

Later that week they went to see the marriage counselor Chris found at a local church. When they walked in, they found two chairs set up a few feet apart facing one another. “We’re going to learn how to Dialogue and hopefully you’ll use these methods at home,” the counselor said as they took their seats. “Chris, I’d like you to speak first,” she said. “I get the feeling that Britt does most of the talking in this relationship, and it would be good for you to talk.” Ashley resisted the urge to explain to her that someone has to do the talking; instead, she settled back into her chair and prepared to listen.

“I guess… um… I feel like…” Chris began to tell the things felt was wrong in their relationship. As Ashley bit her tongue thinking to herself that “what he felt like was bullshit.” After five minutes of explaining himself, Ashley interrupted saying “Jesus, Lady. How much more of this are we going to listen to?” “Let him finish” the counselor responded, “NO I have to be honest I came here to let Chris know that I am leaving him.” Chris is now a huge wreck. He has no idea what just happened. He thought things were going to work out and they were ready to take the next step, and now she is leaving? Now she is out exploring and thinking she is having the time of her life. She has surrounded herself with guys that make her feel good about herself. She is single now, so hey she can give a little more and not feel guilty about it. Now she is giving more and more to each of these guys.

At this time, Chris is still calling and texting and falling apart and actually going through the breakup. The highs and the lows and the really low. But he doesn’t care; he is determined to get his baby back no matter what it takes. No matter how hard he tries, she just keeps pushing him away. He still does not want to give up, so he is going online trying to find ways to get his girl back. He finally decides he is going to try the no contact rule. He sees that a lot of people talk about it and some say it works great. He feels this is his best option so does it for like 2-3 days until he sees something on Facebook or recalls a fond memory and breaks. He calls her, only to be ignored, which really frustrates him. Here he is, trying to give her some space, but at this moment he just needs to hear her voice. So, he starts calling a lot and texting her again. One day, she finally breaks and answers. She is nice but also makes it clear that she does not feel she has made a mistake. She is happy it’s over and hopes the best for him.

He realizes that less contact is not working and the only thing to do is cut all contact So he stops, and this time for good. Meanwhile, She is still doing her own thing. Going on dates, seeing guys that really just want to have sex. Guys that don’t want to settle down, but they feed her whatever it takes. Then, once the guy gets what he wants, all the sudden he is gone. And then the next, and the next, and however many it takes before she starts feeling used. She starts to realize that’s the life she wants. She misses having someone who actually cared about her. And not just sex. She now starts to miss how much she used to be valued. She decides she is going to get back with her ex. But its too late he as moved on and is now with someone new. Now she’s trapped in the life of the fly niggas with diamond rings divorced last year now she’s up 20 guys quickly spreading around the city like she has a point to prove. Stressed out smoking Kush, graduated to coke. Prostituting her body on 304 Park Avenue. You may think the grass is greener on the other side unless you take time to water your own.